MnGCA

X51hz · Geocacher Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 218

So a mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, "hey we donn't serve your kind here" and the mushroom looks at him and says....."why not I am a fungi."

ghost640 · Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 5:00 pm Post subject:

meralgia · Geocacher Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 467

two bums are sitting in the gutter discussing how to quell their hunger. they decide to go to the grocery store. one bum says, "i'll steal da cheese, 'chu steal da crackers. meet back here." and off they go.

the bum returns with the crackers and awaits his friend to return with the cheese. he returns after ten minutes out of breath and sweaty.

"what kind uh cheese 'chu get us?"

"nacho cheese"

"how'd 'chu know? the label's ripped off.

"well, the lady from the sto' wuz running after me screaming, 'THAT'S NOT 'CHO CHEESE; THAT'S NOT 'CHO CHEESE!"

RonGerth · Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:04 pm Post subject:

Horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey, why the long face?"

EPMinnesota · Past MnGCA Board Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 1908

Why'd the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?

minnesotabrad · Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 9:42 pm Post subject:

EPMinnesota · Past MnGCA Board Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 1908

onionpond · Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:51 am Post subject:

If a Bean is a Bean, what is a Pee?
_________________
Onions the real man's Vegetable

onionpond · Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:53 am Post subject:

A man walks into a bar wearing Jumper Cables around his neck.

The Bartender say's I'll serve you if you promise not to start anything.
_________________
Onions the real man's Vegetable

meralgia · Geocacher Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 467

CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table Was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption..

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In Feudalism it's your Count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!